


Am I Origami

by kaci3PO



Series: L-O-V-E verse [2]
Category: Fired Up! (2009)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-02
Updated: 2011-07-02
Packaged: 2017-10-20 23:30:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/218284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaci3PO/pseuds/kaci3PO
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few months after cheer camp, Nick and Downey meet up in a hotel and Downey shows Nick that beads aren't the only toys he's fond of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Missing scene from Give Me an L-O-V-E, but stands on its own. Written for kink_bigbang.

This whole getting fucked thing is still new to Nick, but he's pretty sure that once you've both gotten off, that's the end of it. That's the part where you disengage and maybe even thank the other guy for showing you a nice time and then you move the fuck on. That's how it's always worked before.

So it's kind of a surprise when, after Downey's cock stops twitching inside of him and he slips out, he immediately feels [something hard and solid](http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/butt-plugs/sp-red-devil-butt-plug-4937.aspx) spreading him back open and pushing into him.

"Downey, what—?" he whines. It doesn't hurt, he's just always figured the less time things were inside him, the more likely it was that he...well, stayed the same back there. "What'd you do, take a Viagra?"

Downey chuckles, breathlessly dirty in his ear, and Nick glances back over his shoulder to try and see what's going on. Immediately, Downey slips two fingers into Nick's mouth and uses them to guide him until he's facing forward again. He leaves the fingers there, though, and Nick hates himself for beginning to suck.

"Got this idea," Downey says, and Nick shivers from the way Downey's lips tickle his earlobe. "Want to keep you open and wet for me all weekend."

Nick wants to say, _I'm not a girl, you fucker,_ but Downey's fingers are still thrusting in and out of his mouth and god damn it, he's still sucking on them like it's the most normal thing in the world.

"Want to be able to fuck you anywhere, any time," Downey adds.

Whatever it is that's being pushed into him is starting to burn as it stretches him more than Downey's cock. He gasps around the fingers in his mouth and Downey kisses the back of his neck while whispering soothing words to help him relax.

"Want to be able to just pull you down onto my cock," he says. "Just bend you over and fuck you 'til you scream. You want that, Nick? Nod if you do."

He will never forgive himself for that nod. Hell, it's not even the nod itself that's so fucking disastrous. It's the over-eager, desperate way he does it, like he's begging for this.

"Thought you might. Relax, Nick. Can't get it in if you don't relax."

"What is it?" Nick tries his best to mumble around Downey's fingers.

"It's a plug," Downey answers. "It's gonna keep you all stretched open for me, Nick. Any time I want this weekend, I'm just gonna take it out and give you my cock instead."

Nick groans and spreads his legs wider. A tiny voice in his head shouts, _Whore,_ at him, but he ignores it.

"Look at you," Downey murmurs. "Filled up on both ends and still gagging for it. So close to getting this plug in you. You'll like it, Nick. Feels so good."

Nick thinks it's probably ridiculous that he's considering begging for Downey to hurry and do whatever this is because he wants it now, wants to know how it feels. He doesn't like the empty feeling he gets after sex and if this will make that feeling go away, then he wants to see what it's like.

"There you go," Downey says encouragingly. "So fucking close, Nick. Gonna take you out on the town with it still inside you. Would you like that? Sit down to dinner and feel my plug inside you and no one else would know? Feel how full of me you are every time you move?"

Nick gasps and feels the last of his resistance give as the last, biggest part of the plug slips in and then it's not a big stretch anymore. Then he's just full and the plug isn't moving, even as he pants for breath.

"Knew you could do it," Downey murmurs, and Nick feels his lube-slicked fingers rest at the base of his spine. How it's staying still like that without Downey holding it, Nick doesn't know, but he can't ask with Downey's fingers still fucking his mouth.

"You look so fucking good like this," Downey sighs. "All filled up and spread open. Bet you feel good, too, don't you? 'Cause you love having me and my toys inside you. You need it, huh? Bet you fuck yourself with your fingers when you're at home and wish it were me. Bet you feel empty."

Nick groans and arches his back, rocking his hips back against Downey's body and down onto the bed. He's not hard again—can't, not this soon, though fuck if his body seems to realize that because it's seriously trying—but he wants and he needs and Downey isn't helping one fucking bit by playing with him this way.

The fingers on his back slip lower and Downey runs one of them against his hole, tugging lightly on what feels like a solid base at the end of the plug. It must be what's keeping it in place, Nick thinks, but then Downey tugs it just enough to make the widest part of it slip back out of him before he pushes it back inside and sparks go shooting up Nick's spine so hard he thinks he might black out.

Then Downey's fingers slip out of his mouth then and drag across his face, leaving a wet trail on his cheek. "Shouldn't bite me," he murmurs. "Might have to punish you."

Nick doesn't know what that means, and he doesn't fucking care. He just _wants_ and Downey's got him falling apart just like fucking always.

"Please," is all he can say, and then Downey's flipping him over and kissing him roughly, teeth digging into Nick's lower lip and all but fucking his mouth with his tongue.

"I want to take you out like this," Downey says as he moves lower to bite down gently on Nick's neck. After the rough kiss, it's almost a shock to his system and Nick nods instead of answering.

"Just like this. Hair all messed up, face still flushed...want to show you off while you still look so sexy from being fucked."

"Downey—"

"Think people would know? Bet they would. Especially with you walking with this plug—" He taps the end of the plug, sending vibrations straight through Nick. "—still inside you. They'd know, Nick. What do you think about that?"

Right now, Nick couldn't care less. There's something in the back of his mind telling him that he should, but he's too desperate to make it matter right now.

"Yeah. Sure. Anything. Downey, please—"

"Please _what_?"

Honestly, Nick has no idea how to answer that question. He's not sure what he wants, he just wants _something_ and he wants it right the fuck now.

"God, I love looking at you when you're like this."

Nick arches up against him and finds Downey half-hard again.

"Let me suck you," he gasps. "Please. Something. Anything."

Downey shakes his head. "No."

"What? Downey—"

"Plug's no fun if I can't fuck you when I want. I let you blow me now and it takes all the fun out of it."

"Fucking do something, then," Nick snaps, and Downey bites down on his nipple hard enough to make him whimper.

"Don't snap at me," Downey warns, voice soft but firm. "Now I'm going to go take a shower and I don't want you to touch yourself or the plug while I'm gone, okay? Then you're going to get cleaned up and we're going to go out to dinner and Brewster told me about this great club near here. Understood?"

"But—"

"Don't talk back," Downey murmurs. "Just say yes or no."

"I don't want to go out. I want to stay here with you."

"I know," Downey says, kinder this time. "I just...want to take you out on a real date. Okay?" His eyes are almost vulnerable and something in Nick's chest stutters.

"Okay."

"Besides, once we get back, I'm not letting you out of bed," Downey adds teasingly.

"Wouldn't want you to."

Downey kisses him again, slow and gentle, before heading towards the bathroom. Nick watches him go and sighs, shifting in an attempt to get comfortable before he decides that it's just not going to happen since he's lying in a puddle of his own come and can't even breathe without feeling the damn plug shift inside him.

He finally ends up lying on his stomach at the foot of the bed, legs spread so he won't notice the plug as much. He closes his eyes for what feels like a moment, but when he opens them again, Downey is sitting beside him wearing only a towel as water drips down his chest.

"Have a good nap?" he asks, and Nick can't resist scooting close and breathing in the shower-fresh scent of Downey's skin.

"Don't start that again," Downey says. "Go on. Take your shower. Don't touch the plug, though, okay?"

"How long are you going to make me wear it?" Nick asks.

"I told you. All weekend."

Nick's eyes widen. "I thought you were kidding."

"Not a very funny joke."

"Yeah, exactly."

"You'll get used to it."

"Now there's a scary thought."

"Trust me, Nick. Please? You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. And come on, who knows toys better than me?"

"You _are_ a pervert," Nick agrees.

Downey laughs. "Go take a shower, okay? The sooner you're dressed, the sooner we can have dinner and go dancing. Which means, the sooner I get to bring you back here."

"And then we can have sex again?"

"Mhm. Unless I decide to fuck you in the club."

Nick groans. "You're a fucking tease."

"Yeah."

He winces when he gets to his feet and takes a cautious step forward. The plug rubs against his prostate and he groans quietly before trying to take another step.

"I look like I'm walking around with a cock in my ass," he whines.

"You are," Downey says fairly. "Now go on unless you need my help with that shower."

"I'll be fine," Nick sighs, trying not to sound put-upon. Or put-into, whichever. He feels weird, that's all.

When he's finished with his shower, Downey has, unfortunately, gotten dressed, and he tugs on his own clothes before following Downey out the door.

Halfway down towards the ground floor in the elevator, Downey runs one hand across Nick's ass, which is fine—Nick knows he's got a very nice ass and it's kind of flattering that Downey is so obsessed with it—except that there's an elderly couple in there with them at the time and Downey finishes by pressing right _there_ and driving the plug into him further before it returns to its original resting place. Nick realizes it's going to be a long night when Downey slings the same arm around his shoulders like nothing is wrong and gives him a brilliant flash of a smile.

***

Dinner is quite possibly the most uncomfortable forty-five minutes of Nick's life. To say he almost chokes no less than five times is an understatement.

Then Downey squeezes his hand under the table and it's not so bad.

***

The club they end up at is...well, exactly the type of thing Nick would expect Brewster to recommend. Very clean, very loud, and very full of hot guys. Nick's not sure how he feels about being dragged to a gay club, but he figures as long as none of them hit on him, it's all okay.

It's kind of fun, anyway. Lots of upbeat music and Nick's been forced to watch _Bring It On_ enough times since he joined the squad to know that cheerleaders are just dancers who've gone retarded. And Downey? Is a really good cheerleader.

Downey is pressed up against his back, grinding against his ass and pushing the plug deeper, and has his arm across Nick's chest to hold him in place when Nick notices that other guys _are_ watching them, but they're not giving him that look he's used to getting, the one that lets him know they want into his pants. They don't look like they want to fuck him at all, but they're watching, and he's not used to that.

"What are they looking at?" he asks Downey, loud enough so that he can hear Nick's voice over the music. "They're staring at us."

He turns his head enough to see Downey's eyes and his breath catches in his throat at the look on his face.

"Ignore them," he murmurs, lips pressed to Nick's ear so he can hear him over the noise.

"But—"

"It's not their fault they want you," Downey answers. "But they can look at you and see that you're mine."

Nick raises an eyebrow. "I am?"

Downey sucks Nick's earlobe between his teeth and murmurs a low, hot, "Mhm," before spinning him around until they're face to face. His hands side down Nick's sides until they rest on his ass and Downey holds him there possessively.

"Downey—"

He's cut off with a kiss that Downey all but hauls him into by his grip on Nick's ass, and he groans against Downey's lips before wrapping his arms around Downey's neck.

"Take me home," Nick begs when Downey breaks the kiss. "Please, let's go back to the hotel."

"And miss out on all this fun?"

Nick considers dragging Downey out of there bodily, but opts to slide his fingers down to Downey's groin and squeeze his cock lightly through his jeans.

"This is funner," Nick insists.

"That's not a word," Downey tells him, and takes half a step back to get away from Nick's hands.

Nick pulls him close again and presses his lips to Downey's ear. "I'm tired of this damn plug," he says. "I want the real thing. Want you inside of me instead of it. Please."

"Dunno if I'm done watching you squirm yet," Downey admits.

"I'd rather squirm underneath you than here," Nick says, and Downey laughs, bright and wonderful, before taking Nick's hand and guiding him back through the club.

Downey drives them back to the hotel in his beat up Chevy and Nick wriggles the whole way there, trying to deal with the plug inside him. Downey smirks at him the entire time and by the time they get back to the hotel, Nick's so turned on he doesn't even protest when Downey pushes him down, bent over the edge of the bed, and tugs his pants down to his ankles.

He can't stand feeling vulnerable like this, bent over and exposed, but he hears Downey behind him, shucking off his pants and tearing open a condom wrapper. Then Downey's fingers are on the plug— _twistingpullingfuckfuckfuck_ —and he only gets momentary relief with it gone because then Downey's fucking into him all at once and the air gets knocked out of his lungs.

"Jesus Christ," he groans, and Downey's tongue licks up his spine before biting down on the back of his neck.

"All those boys wanted to fuck you," Downey grits out. "They wanted to touch you and taste you and you know why they were staring? Because they couldn't believe their own damn bad luck that I got there first. Because they could see, Nick. They could tell that you're mine."

Nick nods furiously. "Yeah, sure, Downey, just—"

"No," Downey says, and he sounds almost angry. "Don't you dare fucking say that unless you _mean_ it."

Downey's fingers close around the back of Nick's neck and Nick moans, arching back against him.

"I do," he pants. "I do, Downey, please—"

Downey releases him but grips his hips hard enough to bruise, fucking into him relentlessly forceful. He feels like he might split in two under the roughness of it, but he's still begging shamelessly for more, the word _please_ spilling from his lips over and over again.

"Say my name," Downey says. "Say who you belong to."

"Downey," Nick whines. "Please, you, God—"

Downey's fingernails dig into his skin and Nick wonders how he'll make it through this weekend if Downey's going to keep bruising him like this, but then Downey's coming, hard and fast and loud.

He sags against the bed when Downey pulls out of him, panting and sore but hard as a fucking rock, and he only gets a few minutes of respite before Downey's guiding him onto his back until his feet are propped up and his knees are spread, and he's more off the bed than on. Downey kneels between his legs and then his mouth is on Nick's cock and three of his fingers are back inside him.

It doesn't take much—one good press of Downey's fingers against his prostate and two swipes of his tongue against the head of Nick's cock—before he falls apart, spilling himself down Downey's throat. His world goes dark and when he comes to, Downey is petting his hair and looking nervous.

"You okay?"

Nick nods. "I'm fine."

"Sorry. Got a little..." He waves a hand vaguely and frowns.

"'S okay. You mind if I take a shower? I feel disgusting."

Downey nods, but seems reluctant to take his hands off Nick when he gets woozily to his feet.

When he gets back from his shower, Downey has the bed turned down and waiting for him.

"C'mere," he murmurs, and Nick goes willingly, letting Downey guide him onto his stomach.

"You don't have to be all nice to me," Nick sighs. "I told you that the thing was fine."

"I know. I just want to touch you for a while. Isn't that all right?"

"Okay," Nick acquiesces. He lets his eyes drift shut as Downey's hands smooth over his skin, massaging his shoulders before moving down his back. "Downey, what are you—"

"I have to put the plug back in," Downey murmurs.

"You're putting it back?"

"Nick, how many times do I have to tell you that I'm not kidding?"

"I just thought..."

"Just relax," Downey says, and then Nick feels himself being exposed and he's about to blush when Downey gasps. "Fuck, Nick."

"What?"

Downey's lips are pressed against the curve of his ass when he murmurs, "You should see yourself. All red and swollen 'cause of what I did to you."

"God, Downey—"

"If I didn't feel so bad about being that rough with you, it might be kind of hot."

Nick groans. "Please don't."

"Might have to kiss it and make it better before we leave on Sunday," Downey murmurs, and then three lube-slicked fingers are pressing into him and they go in unspeakably easy. Nick's pretty sure this weekend is going to leave him permanently changed and when he says so, Downey laughs and says, "I hope so."

"You know it's almost bedtime, right?" Nick asks. "So you're kind of wasting your time."

"No, it's okay. You can sleep in it."

"What? Downey, don't be so fucking ridiculous."

"It's completely safe," Downey insists. "And then a morning quickie can actually be a morning _quick_ ie."

"How can I sleep with that inside me?"

"Same as you always do," Downey answers.

Nick winces when he feels the tip of the plug press against him and he sighs. "Downey."

"Too sore?"

"No. Fine. Just get it over with."

Downey chuckles and then the plug is sliding into him so much easier than the first time. He sighs and closes his eyes, willing himself to just let it happen and to remember that it's only happening because Downey wants him so damn much.

"You're gonna love it, Nick. You will. Go to sleep so full of me...wake up the same way. Mine for the whole weekend."

"Yeah, yeah," Nick says, resigned. He'd kind of hoped that Downey was just all talk, but okay. He can work with this. He still can't help the annoyed way he snaps, "Just for God's sake, get it in there already."

"Pushy," Downey teases, but his free hand strokes the base of Nick's spine soothingly until the plug settles into place.

"Jesus Christ, that thing is insane."

"Tell me," Downey murmurs, and Nick can feel his lips brushing along the skin of his lower back.

"Tell you what?"

"How it feels."

"No," Nick says. "I'm not talking about my fucking feelings."

"All right, all right," Downey says, tone placating. "Never mind. I just think it's hot, that's all."

Nick shrugs. "You ever tried to wear one of these things?"

Downey laughs. "It's cute that you even have to ask. Of course I have."

"When?"

"Lots of times. When I want a really good jerk, when I want to have a little fun...once I just put it in and went to sleep."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Woke up so hard I barely had to touch myself," Downey admits. "Trust me, Nick. I wouldn't make you do something I wouldn't or haven't."

"Fine. You're kinky. I get it."

"You like it," Downey teases.

Nick shrugs because there's no way he's going to admit that, and he waits until Downey has rolled off of him before hesitantly scooting a little closer to him on the bed. He usually sleeps on his side of the bed and doesn't cross the imaginary line drawn down any bed whenever two people share it. Tonight he allows himself to cross it, but not enough to bring himself in contact with Downey.

Still, just before he falls asleep—damn, Downey was right; it's not that hard to sleep with the plug—he feels Downey's hand settle at the small of his back, and he doesn't bother to argue.

***

When Nick wakes up, Downey is still asleep. He never wakes up before Downey—he says that like he's in any kind of position to know, like this isn't only the fourth time they've woken up together—but he likes the way Downey looks while he's asleep. His face is relaxed and his knees are curled up, and the hand still on Nick's abdomen—he must've rolled over during the night—is twitching slightly, clenching and unclenching against the taut skin.

Carefully, Nick rolls out of bed and heads to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He loves kissing in bed, although he'll never admit it, but he hates doing it with morning breath. It makes him self-conscious. He considers taking care of his morning wood, exacerbated by the plug nudging up against his prostate every time he moves, but decides—rather generously, he thinks—to leave it for Downey.

When he returns to bed, Downey is waiting for him. He pats the empty space on the bed beside him and Nick hesitates before joining him. The sunlight is filtering in through the curtains and it's hitting Downey's hair just right, giving him a surreal glow. He's oddly... _pretty_ right now and Nick takes a moment to appreciate that before he settles back down on the bed.

He tries to kiss Downey but before their lips can connect, Downey guides him down onto his stomach, pushing him just hard enough to let him know that there's no room for argument but still not enough to hurt. He runs his fingers down Nick's bare back gently and Nick sighs. Morning sex is good.

Downey's fingers go straight to that fucking plug and Nick spreads his legs wider.

"Sleep well?" Downey asks. He sounds so fucking amused and it annoys the hell out of Nick.

"Shut up."

Downey laughs and then gently pulls the plug free, and Nick absolutely does not sigh in relief. He also doesn't die of embarrassment when he realizes that Downey can see the uncomfortable fluttering thing his ass is doing now that the plug isn't filling him up anymore.

"Sorry," Downey says, and Nick forgives him because the kiss he presses to Nick's neck is both honest and apologetic. Besides, Downey grabs the lube from under his pillow and Nick figures whatever happens next will make it up to him.

The bottle clicks open and then three of Downey's fingers are inside him like they've always belonged there. The lube is cold, but it's actually almost soothing after the plug and Nick sighs, content—which is a whole new level of weird, but whatever.

"Feel good?" Downey asks.

"Yeah," Nick answers, and leaves it at that. Anything else would be just asking for Downey to do something crazy.

"Looks good, too," Downey murmurs. "You have no idea how sexy you are like this."

"I'm very enticing," Nick agrees. "So fuck me."

Downey chuckles. "Not yet."

Nick doesn't understand that. Why not? He's ready for it and he knows Downey wants it, so why the hell not?

Then he feels the blunt head of the plug replace Downey's fingers and he sighs. "God damn it."

"I have to re-lube it every few hours," Downey murmurs with no small hint of amusement in his voice. "Otherwise, you'll get sore."

"Damn it, I already am sore. I've had something in my ass twenty-four/seven since I got here."

"Which was yesterday," Downey says fairly. "You'll be fine, Nick."

Nick absolutely does not growl in frustration.

"I should've jerked off in the bathroom," Nick mutters. "You don't _deserve_ my erections, you sex toy bully."

"But I usually treat them so well," Downey says in mock-indignation. "It's just your ass I'm mean to."

Nick considers that. "All right," he concedes. "You can have my erections. But my ass is off-limits. I bet you don't do this to your other fuck buddies."

"No," Downey says, and Nick can hear the frown on his face. "I've never done this with anyone else and you're—you're not a fuck buddy, Nick."

Nick ignores that—it's his prerogative to ignore anything that makes him uncomfortable—and instead asks, "Why me, then?"

Downey seems to consider that for a few moments before he says, "Because I know you can handle it. And I know you want it. Even when you're fighting me, I know that you want me to fill you up. So I am."

Nick sighs. "I want a blowjob when this is all over. And none of that delicate work-the-head crap. I want to fuck your throat."

Downey laughs, vibrations ricocheting off his spine and making Nick shiver. "We'll see. But for now, I want you to suck me off, okay?"

Nick raises an eyebrow and turns over, wincing only slightly in the process. "I get a maybe but you expect me to suck you off?"

"No," Downey says, sounding unspeakably calm. "I think you want to suck me off. You asked me yesterday, remember? When I put the plug in you and you were begging, the first thing you asked was to suck me off. I think you just want to be filled up by me, Nick. I think you get off on the idea of me in every hole you've got. So no, I don't expect you to suck me off. I'm offering you the opportunity to."

Nick groans. "I hate you." And he does. He absolutely hates that Downey has always looked right through him and saw what Nick never wanted anyone to see.

"I know," Downey answers, amused. "Now trade me places unless you want me to straddle your chest and fuck your mouth."

Nick considers that for a moment before allowing the switch to happen. Letting Downey fuck his mouth certainly has its benefits but he's so tired of just letting Downey do things to him. That's all it's been all weekend and Nick's tired of it because damn it, he can do more than just lay there and take what Downey gives him.

"You don't have to," Downey says softly when he's settled under Nick. "I just thought you wanted—"

"I do want," Nick interrupts, and he's proud of the fact that his voice doesn't waiver.

He's sucked a lot of dicks since he got back from cheer camp, at least compared to the number he'd sucked before—a big fat zero—but the only one he's ever wanted to suck, actually _wanted_ to and not just did it because it was a means to an end, was Downey's and God, he loves sucking Downey off. It's the dumbest thing in the world but Downey's cock just feels right inside him, no matter where it is. He can live with the sore jaw for that feeling.

Downey nods and kisses him before relaxing back against the pillows with a grin. "Well?"

"Pushy," Nick quotes at him, but he doesn't care. This is his to do and his to be proactive on and Downey's going to sit there and wait until he's good and ready no matter what. God knows Nick has put in his fair share of that this weekend.

He takes his time kissing his way down Downey's body, teasing at his nipples, his belly button, and his hipbones before settling between his thighs. He's been teased enough all fucking weekend and he owes Downey so much more than the few minutes it takes him to make the first deliciously slow lick up Downey's cock. He purposefully drags his tongue along the vein slowly and deliberately, keeping his eyes locked on Downey's to see the eagerness turn to desperation.

Nick likes being in charge, big fucking surprise, and what he likes more is payback. Even better is payback that's good for him, too, and he's turned on just from knowing Downey's toes are curling in frustration with the need for Nick to stop teasing and just suck him already.

"Nick, don't—"

"My turn," Nick mumbles, and bites down gently on Downey's inner thigh.

"Come on, I haven't teased you like this. I've just—"

"Entire fucking weekend's been a tease," Nick answers. "Fucking plug turning me on every step I take. Now it's my turn, okay? Let me do this."

"Okay."

Nick grins. He likes the nervous tone of Downey's voice. He's been nervous since Friday and it's Downey's turn to be the one thrown off-balance.

He can practically taste Downey's anxiousness when he returns his tongue to Downey's cock, one tiny teasing lick to the base before pulling away again. Downey grimaces and his fingers clench in the sheets, and it's the best thing Nick's seen all fucking weekend.

"Nick," Downey says, and it's not even close to the amount of begging Nick has wanted to do all fucking weekend, but it's definitely an improvement from before. "Come on, you wanted to suck my cock, so—"

"Mhm," Nick admits, and runs his tongue across the head just once, just enough to make Downey hiss. "Really, really want to. But you want it more. Time to play follow the leader, Downey, and I've been begging you much nicer than that all weekend."

"Please."

"Better, but it'd be even nicer if you didn't manage to make 'please' sound like a command."

Downey huffs out a breath of annoyance, which is Nick's cue to cover just the head of Downey's cock with his lips and suck once before pulling away.

"What was it you said about not snapping at you?" Nick asks. "Something about punishing me if I did."

"That—that was for you biting my fingers."

Nick laughs softly. "Yeah. Well, don't snap at me. It's not nice."

"Neither is teasing me."

"Can I take the plug out, then?"

Slowly, Downey shakes his head. "Please don't."

"Then be good."

Downey sighs and there's still frustration there, but there's also resignation, and that's what Nick is looking for.

"There you go," he encourages, and finally gets to work doing what he's wanted to do since he got to the hotel yesterday. He sucks Downey in as far as he can without choking and slides his tongue right where he knows Downey likes it. One of the benefits of this whole sleeping with someone more than once thing is knowing exactly how to tease them and how to give them what they need.

And God, he loves giving Downey what he needs. He loves watching Downey fall apart piece by piece because he wants Nick so badly, because Nick is so good at turning Downey on. It makes him feel like the most important person in the world, at least for the few minutes it takes to make Downey come.

Downey chokes back a moan and says Nick's name like it's a fucking prayer to God himself and fuck, that's sexy. As far as Nick is concerned, nothing will ever be hotter than someone recognizing how awesome he is and when it comes to sucking Downey's cock, he could write the fucking book on it. He could captain the team except that he's not too sure how he feels about a bunch of other guys jostling to get time with Downey's dick. Maybe it should be a solo sport and Nick will maintain his amateur status for a few more years so he can win a medal at the Olympics. He just hopes that Phelps guy doesn't show up in his heat because that guy is gayer than Dougie Howser and apparently has Iron Man's metallic heart that magnetically attracts gold medals. The guy has enough of them already, these are for Nick.

"Jesus, Nick, please—" Downey groans, and God, Nick wishes he had a free hand to jerk himself off because seeing Downey like this is fucking hot.

"Tell me," he says, and when Downey doesn't, he adds a few more repeats onto the end of that phrase until finally Downey sighs.

"Please let me come," Downey sighs. "Fuck, you know—you know what I need and you're not giving it to me. Please?"

"Tell me I suck your dick better than your other fuck buddies."

"I _told you_ ," Downey says, and he's angry again but Nick doesn't know why. "I don't have any other fuck buddies and you're not one."

Nick stares him down, waiting for Downey to flinch, but he doesn't. He just keeps right on glaring at him and it's totally killing the mood so Nick presses a kiss to the head of Downey's cock and repeats, "Tell me."

"Yes, Nick," Downey sighs, and he sounds defeated. "You're the best."

"Medal-worthy?"

"Sure, Nick. You'll take home the gold in the Sexlympics against all the other boyfriends I've got laying around with open mouths. Now please just fucking suck me."

Nick grins and takes Downey deeper this time, as far as he can before his gag reflex kicks in and then just slightly past that. He's learning to deep throat slowly and although he hasn't done it yet, the whimper Downey makes is more than enough encouragement to know that he's doing well.

"Nick, Nicky, fuck—" Downey gasps, and even though Nick's not sure how he feels about being called _Nicky_ —his father calls him that and Nick can get kinky with the best of them, but that is fucking pushing it—he's definitely sure that he likes how close Downey sounds, how he can feel Downey's cock throb against his tongue.

Downey's fingers stretch out towards his face before pulling away, and Nick pauses his sucking just long enough to realize that Downey wants to hold his head in place so that he can't pull away when Downey comes like he usually does. He always pulls away because it's one thing to suck a dick but it's just fucking gay to let a guy come in your mouth, even if you spit it out later. Weirdly, he has no qualms about letting Downey come inside him when they're fucking, but hey, that's different. There's a condom there so it's not like the come is actually _touching_ him. That's really the line, he thinks.

But Downey looks desperate and Nick thinks about how tightly he'll have Downey wrapped around his proverbial little finger if he allows Downey to come in his mouth and the next thing he knows, he's doing it himself, forcing himself to stay in place despite his instinct to pull away when he feels Downey's cock start to pulse in his mouth.

It's not good tasting, although it's not as bad as Nick was expecting. He heard Brewster say once that the food in the mess hall was "salty like semen," and Nick hates the food in the mess hall at camp, so he was really expecting hell in liquid form on his tongue. It's not. It's not delicious, but it is what it is and he allows himself a brief moment to let it coat his tongue so he can really know what it's like before he spits it out into the trashcan by the bed. He can feel a tiny trickle running down the corner of his mouth but there's so much saliva and pre-come already there that he figures it'd be ridiculous to try and wipe it away.

"God," Downey groans, then takes a good look at him before covering his eyes. "Jesus, Nick."

"Yeah," he says. "I'm awesome. I know."

Downey laughs, but not derisively, and nods. "Yeah. You are. And you're fucking debauched right now, too. You should see your face. Hell, just your lips. They're all swollen and red and—"

"I know what I look like," Nick interrupts. "What I want to know is what are you going to look like?"

"Huh?"

"I'm still hard so I'm wanting to know if you're going to have just-fucked mouth, too, or if you're going to let me fuck you."

"Which do you want?"

Nick grins because yes, it should be his choice, thank you very much, because it's fucking annoying to just be moved around and put through paces day in and day out.

He doesn't know the answer to that immediately, though. He's only gotten to fuck Downey once before—their last weekend together, in late September when they stayed at the inn with the little old lady. Nick had fumbled through it, fingers awkward at first and later movements just as clumsy. Downey had finally suggested he ride Nick's cock instead and that had been toe-curlingly amazing so Nick still counted the experience as a win in his diary. But the idea of being awkward at sex with Downey...he doesn't like awkward. Awkward is vulnerable and he doesn't like that one bit. And the idea of being clumsy with the guy who's made him feel like he's amazing at this whole being with a guy thing, who's made him finally feel right about sex...it's not something he really wants. Fucking Downey was good and it didn't feel wrong but it wasn't particularly right, either, and Nick's not sure he's learned enough since that first time to really show a marked improvement now.

Instead, he thinks about Downey's lips looking like his own must, except maybe worse because Nick wants to collect on that getting-to-fuck-Downey's-mouth thing right the fuck now.

He crawls up Downey's body and presses his sticky wet lips to Downey's. There's still come on his lips and traces of it in his mouth and he groans when Downey's tongue flicks against his. There's something about knowing that Downey's tasting himself and licking Nick's mouth clean that's just fucking hot and Nick takes Downey's face in both hands as they kiss.

"You never said which you wanted," Downey murmurs before licking his lips again. He smirks, then adds, " _Tell me._ "

Nick drags his thumb across Downey's lips and laughs. "Told you earlier. You owe me. I want to fuck this pretty little mouth of yours."

Downey nods. "Yeah. That's—yeah. How do you want me?"

"Just like this," Nick answers. "Just lay back and let me do this."

Downey nods and fuck yes, he's so damn obedient about it that Nick has to keep reminding himself that scrambling around to get his cock in Downey's mouth is not only undignified but it's also just plain stupid. He's been the king of patience all weekend so he can wait a few more moments now.

He straddles Downey's chest and braces his hands on the wall above the bed frame, nudging Downey's lips with the head of his cock. Downey keeps him that way just long enough to smear his lips with pre-come before he lets Nick inside, engulfing him in tight, wet heat. He groans and gives a short, shallow thrust into Downey's mouth.

Downey's fingers wrap around his hips, nails digging into his skin as he encourages Nick to move. It's all the permission Nick needs and he pushes forward until he feels Downey's throat relax and the tip of his cock slip in.

"You've got the best fucking mouth," Nick tells him, and Downey hums his approval around Nick's cock. It makes him shudder and clench his fingers against the wall uselessly before gasping Downey's name.

"Hottest fucking thing I've ever seen," Nick murmurs. "Lips all shiny with me and mouth stretched. Forget how much I like seeing you like this when I'm doing the same to you." He almost adds, _Love sucking your cock,_ but manages to refrain by biting his lip.

One of Downey's hands slips down from his hip around to his ass and grips the base of the plug firmly. He doesn't tug it, just holds it right where it is. Unfortunately, Nick's still fucking Downey's face and with Downey holding the plug like that, the widest part just barely slips out of him as he thrusts forward, and then back inside him on the backstroke. It's too much and he barely lasts another minute before he comes, only just remembering to pull back to keep from choking Downey.

The toy settles back inside him when Downey releases it and Nick sags, still braced against the headboard, until Downey guides him down onto his back beside him. Nick can't even look at his lips without his spent cock giving a half-hearted twitch, and he doesn't protest when Downey's fingers spider-walk up his abdomen before he settles one hand over Nick's heart.

"That was good," Downey says softly. It's so quiet and simple that Nick glances down at him in surprise.

"Yeah?"

Downey nods. "It's...it's nice when you actually take initiative," Downey says thoughtfully. "Sometimes I feel like I'm just bullying you into having sex with me." He shrugs. "It's always fun when someone wants you like that, you know?"

Nick nods. "Being wanted is good. Hot."

"Yeah," Downey murmurs. "Exactly. You know that's why I'm making you wear the plug, right? 'Cause I want to be able to be with you just...whenever. Immediately. No waiting, no fumbling for the lube, just grab a condom and go."

Nick sort of knew that but it's nice to hear anyway. "Yeah."

"You can take it out if you really, really want to. I'd appreciate it if you didn't, but I won't stop you if you want to. It's your decision." He meets Nick's eyes for just a moment before adding, "You have the power here, Nick. Even when I've got my plug in your ass and my cock in your mouth...you say stop and I do. I won't make you do anything you don't want. It's always your choice."

"Of course it is," Nick says. "I'm bigger than you. You can't _make_ me do anything. I'd just tackle you and leave."

"That's...that's not the point, Nick. I'm just trying—I just want—" He sighs. "I just want you to feel safe with me."

Nick blinks, taken aback. "Safe?"

"I'd never—I'd never _hurt_ you," Downey says, and Nick suddenly gets the feeling they're not just talking about his physical wellbeing.

What to say to that, he has no idea, so he opts to pussy out of it—at least he can admit it to himself that that's what he's doing, really—and instead fakes a large yawn and says, "I'm tired."

Downey sighs again, heavier this time, and nods. "Okay. Take a nap. I'm going to have a shower and go pick up some lunch."

Nick murmurs his agreement and waits until he hears the water running from Downey's shower to grab his cell phone from the bedside table and send an urgent text message to Shawn.

 _Downey is trying to be serious during our fuck time. I blame you._

Two minutes later, he gets a reply that simply says, _What?_

 _You and your Carly,_ Nick writes back. _Makes him think I'll turn into a sap like you. Not to mention you practically threw me at his cock._

 _Did you a favor, now shut up and enjoy it,_ comes the reply, and Nick doesn't bother to dignify that with a response.

Instead, he fakes sleep while Downey gets dressed and waits for him to leave on his lunch run before flipping on the TV. There's nothing on so he settles for jotting down a few notes in his diary—positions they've fucked in and a few basic thoughts, which he plans on turning into a lengthy poem called _The Weekend That Would Not End_ sometime in the future—before setting the diary down and leaning back against the pillows.

He must've fallen asleep sometime after that because the next time he opens his eyes, Downey is sitting beside him reading the morning paper and chewing quietly on a sandwich. He smiles when he notices Nick is awake, sets the sandwich down on a napkin, and folds the paper on his lap before leaning over and kissing him gently.

"Have a good nap?"

Nick takes a second to consider the implications of Downey watching him sleep while reading the paper and eating lunch. It's way too domestic for him and he huffs, pulling himself back into a sitting position, and scooting back to his side of the bed so that he's no longer curled up against Downey's side.

"Fine."

Downey nods. "Want to go see a movie later? Looks like there are some good ones out. Or we could stay in and try pay-per-view."

"I don't want to watch a movie," Nick sighs. "I want—"

"What?"

"You're being too—it's weird." Nick groans. "I just wish you'd stop acting like I'm your—never mind."

"No, Nick. I want to hear. What am I acting like?"

"Like we're an old married couple or something," Nick says finally.

"No old married couple has sex as much as we do," Downey teases.

"I'm serious," Nick says. "You talk too much."

Downey shrugs. "So?"

"So, we should...we shouldn't talk this much. We should—"

"Should what?" Downey asks, and his voice is suddenly dripping with exactly what Nick thinks they should be doing.

Nick licks his lips to answer but then Downey's fingers thread through his hair and he tugs Nick up to kiss him. It's not rough enough to hurt but Nick whimpers against his lips anyway and then hates himself for it.

Downey's teeth sink into his lower lip and tug, nipping at his still slightly-swollen mouth, before releasing him and resting their foreheads together. His fingers are still in Nick's hair, but they're soothing now, rubbing soft circles against his scalp.

"That?"

"Something like that," Nick says, and kisses him again.

Nick never used to like kissing this much, although he never exactly hated it. It was just something he did at the beginning of sex and then he stopped and moved on and he thought that was just how it was. But with Downey...they've kissed for hours before without ever going further and he still manages to come out the other side satisfied as though they had. And they don't stop, either. With other people, Nick kisses them until they decide to let him into their pants and then that's it, but Downey never lets him do that. He keeps kissing Nick as they fuck and sometimes even afterwards, as soon as they've both caught their breath enough for it. He likes that. It's weird how he likes something he's pretty sure is just as married couple-y as the Downey watching him sleep thing, but it's different somehow.

Downey rolls him onto his back and settles on top of him, still fully clothed. Nick's still naked from this morning—he never bothers to get dressed after sex with Downey unless they're leaving the hotel room and he's never bothered to think about why—and he likes the feel of Downey against him like this.

Downey's fingers leave his hair to stroke down the sides of his face before returning to tickle his scalp. Neither of them is hard and Nick knows that this is one of those times where all they'll do is kiss. He smiles against Downey's lips and curls his fingers at the base of Downey's neck, stroking over the skin and the outline of his shirt.

They kiss for so long that they eventually have to move to their sides because Downey's arms get tired, but Nick doesn't mind. He likes that, too, likes the way their legs tangle together the same way their tongues do.

When they finally stop, Downey sighs and glances at the clock. "It's almost dinner time and you still haven't had breakfast or lunch."

"Not hungry. Had a protein-rich breakfast." He flashes Downey one of the smiles that have gotten him a lot of tail over the years, but Downey's not having any of it.

"You need real food. Man cannot live on come alone. Although God knows there are some guys who wish they could."

"Brewster?"

Downey shudders. "I don't want to talk about it. Besides, you didn't even swallow. Let's just go have dinner and when we get back, we can pick this up then."

Nick sighs. He does need to eat sometime today, he supposes, but he was having fun just kissing Downey and he doesn't want to stop.

He reluctantly pulls on some clothes—he hates dressing on his weekends with Downey; it always seems so counter-productive—and lets Downey drag him out to a small Chinese place just down the street from their hotel. It's either very authentic or very fake but good at pretending for Americans and he and Downey split an appetizer while they wait for dinner.

He will never, ever say it, but part of him likes going out in public with Downey like this. He wouldn't sacrifice sex time for it willingly, but when sex isn't an option, this is kind of nice. It feels mature, somehow, to sit in a nice restaurant with Downey and talk about things that actually matter outside the walls of Gerald R. Ford High.

He likes going back to the hotel better, though, and he all but drags Downey back down the street and up to the room as soon as they've finished settling the bill.

"You're always so eager," Downey murmurs while Nick fumbles with their keycard. "You've got that plug in you and you're still desperate for me, instead."

"Not desperate," Nick says, but it's a lie and they both know it. "Just want—was good before."

"Mhm," Downey agrees, and kisses him right there in the hall where anyone could see. It's not exactly public but it's the most public kiss they've ever had. And while Nick hasn't exactly bothered to hide the whole fucking a guy thing from anyone, he's never been big on the PDA with Downey either.

Luckily, he finally manages to jam the card into the slot and the lock clicks open, allowing him to twist the handle and stumble backwards into the room as the door opens. He hears Downey push it shut behind him and then the backs of his knees hit the bed and he stumbles down onto it with Downey still on top of him.

He groans Downey's name when his teeth scrape against Nick's neck, arching against him before Downey pins him back down.

"I want you on your hands and knees, okay?" he asks.

Nick nods and scrambles up onto all fours before he realizes that it would've been a good idea to take his clothes off before getting into position. He moves to stand up and take care of that, but Downey shakes his head and presses his hand down on Nick's back to keep him in place.

"Downey—"

Downey shakes his head and pulls up onto just his knees, tilting his head to capture Nick's lips in another kiss. His fingers fumble at Nick's fly and then he's pushing Nick's pants down to his knees. Again, he moves to get up, and again, Downey stops him.

"Leave them there," he says, and so Nick goes to tug his shirt off and once again gets rebuffed. "Like you just like this," Downey murmurs, and pushes him back down onto all fours.

Well, it's a new one to Nick. He's never had sex with this many clothes on, but he's willing to give Downey this for now. Nick's getting used to this give-and-take thing and he knows he'll get to take something for this, and that's always fun.

"Okay," he answers, and spreads his legs as far as he can get them with his pants holding his legs together.

Downey's fingers tug gently at the plug, then release it and let it settle back inside him. Over and over he fucks Nick with the plug, until he's barely holding back a plea for Downey to fuck him with the real thing.

"You know what I lo—really like about being with you?" Downey asks softly.

"W—what?"

"I can spend hours just kissing you and talking to you and then when it's time for sex, you want it just as bad as I do. Sometimes more. It's nice to have both."

"Downey, come on. Stop thinking and just fuck already. Talk time was an hour ago at the restaurant. Fuck time is now."

"See what I mean? You want it. Want _me_."

"Wouldn't be here if I didn't," Nick answers. "Come on, just do something already. No more talking, all right?"

"All right," Downey agrees, and then the plug is out.

Nick drums his fingers against the bed sheets while he waits for Downey to finish putting on the condom but then fuck, he just slips into Nick like there's no resistance at all and honest to God, he's fucked girls who were harder to get into than that and it's fucking ridiculous how loose and relaxed he's been this weekend.

Downey's fingers slide up his sides, tickling, before settling on his hips. He grips Nick there and uses the leverage to fuck into him, not as rough as the night before but still harder than usual. Nick figures he's been so open all weekend that Downey knows he can be a little rougher with him than usual and hey, that's good. It works. Nick likes it. Never thought he'd be the kind of guy who'd enjoy being on the receiving end of a rough fucking, but he's learned a lot about himself since meeting Downey that he'd never thought he'd know before.

It's the kind of fucking that leaves him exhausted, breathless, and too-fucked out to really be aware of his surroundings in any kind of capacity other than, "Hey, a pillow," and he collapses against the bed, spent and lying in his own come, while Downey finishes. He's dimly aware of a tingling going up his spine because he's overly sensitive, but then Downey comes and that goes away.

It's quiet after that, at least for a few minutes. Then he feels Downey get up and after that, a rustling of Downey's suitcase. The bed dips as he returns and then Downey nudges him carefully until Nick's looking up at him.

"Hey."

Nick snorts tiredly. "Hey."

"So...you know I brought more of my toys with me, right?"

"What? Don't tell me you want to use a bigger plug 'cause I'm telling you, I can't handle anything bigger twenty-four/seven like this."

"No," Downey says, and bites his lip. Nick glances down and sees that Downey's hands are behind his back and he sighs heavily. "It's not...not anything that will hurt," Downey says. He sounds nervous and Nick's too tired to care if that's a good or a bad thing.

"Then why do I suddenly feel like my stomach's partying with my kneecaps?" Nick mutters.

Downey sighs and holds [the...contraption](http://www.adameve.com/sexy-extras/accessories/sp-adam-eve-douche-kit-11429.aspx?itemtype=85) out. That's really the only word Nick can think of for it because it looks like one of those squeeze-bulb things they use to suck fluids and mucus out of newborn babies, only much, much bigger.

"What the fuck is that?" Nick groans.

"It's...well."

"If you can't even say it, then I'm not letting you do it to me," Nick huffs. "And for the record, if this is your way of telling me that I've been a big baby about having to wear the plug all weekend, then fuck you."

"Okay, fine," Downey huffs. "I fill it up with water and then I squirt it into you."

"And why, exactly, would you want to do that?"

"Well, 'cause then you're all empty and clean inside and—"

"Bullshit. I fail to see how whether or not the inside of my ass is spring cleaned is something you'd care about, much less find hot."

"Well, there's more," Downey says, but he still looks uncomfortable. "It's like...you know that feeling where I'm inside you but I'm not moving so all you can feel is how full you are?"

"Yeah. I don't know what that has to do with—"

"It's like that only...only you're actually full. Like...every inch of you is filled up with water. It's really, really intense and I think you'd like it if—"

"You," Nick informs him, "are fucking insane."

"No, really, it's—"

"No. I don't care. No."

"Please?"

"I have limits, damn it."

"Not with me," Downey says softly, and Nick's taken aback by the fact that Downey sounds pretty damn confident about that.


	2. Chapter 2

"Downey, come on. Don't. I've done the plug, I've let you fuck me six ways to Sunday, I've sucked you off like there was no fucking tomorrow..."

"I know. And I loved all that. But _you're_ going to love this so much, Nick. I know how much you love it when I fill you up and this is the absolute ultimate version of that."

Nick sighs. "I don't want to."

"That's not a no," Downey points out. "Please, Nick. You'll love this so fucking much. It'll be amazing."

"I don't want to," Nick repeats, only it comes out slightly more like a plea this time.

"Please," Downey says again. "It won't hurt you. You'll like it, Nick. You'll love it. Who knows toys better than me, huh? Who knows how to play you like a harp? I've never steered you wrong with sex before, have I?"

"No, but—"

"Let me try. If you don't like it, I'll stop and we'll never try it again."

Nick groans. "God damn it. God fucking damn it."

"Is that a yes?"

"It's a God fucking damn it," Nick snaps. "Just fucking get on with whatever it is already."

Downey grins and kisses the top of Nick's head before disappearing into the bathroom. When he comes back, he's got the ice bucket full of warm water and he's attached something truly ungodly to the end of the giant squeeze bulb.

"If it starts cramping, let me know, okay?" Downey says. "And I need you to get up on your knees."

"What's wrong with being on my belly?"

Downey frowns. "Trust me, you won't like it on your stomach. Please trust me, Nick."

Nick sighs and reluctantly goes up on all fours while Downey rubs soothing circles at the small of his back.

"Can't believe I'm letting you do this," Nick grumbles. "What the hell else did you bring, anyway? It's like Henry Killinger's Magical Masturbation Bag over there."

"Just...some stuff," Downey hedges. He's filling up the bulb and Nick refuses to watch because it's ridiculous, it really is.

"No, I want to know what else I'm going to be subjected to," Nick insists. "A plug is one thing. It's another when you start pulling out contraptions I don't even have a name for. That toy bag of yours is infused with Santa Claus spirits or Time Lord tech or something because it's got to be bigger on the inside than it is on the outside considering what all you keep pulling out of there. What else is in it, Downey? Vibrating nipple clamps? A plug with a bunny tail sticking out of it? A dildo bigger than my head? Come on, I need to know what I have to mentally prepare myself for."

"Don't worry, man," Downey says, and then he's pushing that _thing_ into Nick. The nozzle is the biggest one he had, of course, because Downey's fucking evil that way, but Nick's so loose that he barely feels it. He doesn't feel anything at all, in fact, until he suddenly notices that his insides are starting to get very, very warm.

"What the—"

"It's the water," Downey confirms. "It's nice, right?"

Nick shrugs. "Could've just sat a heating pad on my back. It'd done the same thing."

"Trust me, a heating pad can't do this," Downey says, and then the nozzle is back with more water from the bucket.

How many times he uses that thing on Nick, he doesn't know. He stops counting when the cramps start because then he's focusing on how Downey promised it wouldn't hurt and Downey never breaks the promises he makes to Nick.

"Downey, fuck," Nick gasps. "Come on, this hurts. You said it wouldn't."

Downey puts the bulb down and then his hands are on Nick's distended belly—he figured out pretty quick why he couldn't be on his stomach for this—rubbing soothing circles. Nick wants to snap at him but then a minute later, the cramps go away and it's just an incredibly full feeling again.

He gets one more full bulb after that before Downey sets it down and tells him to not spill any. Nick huffs out a breathless agreement while Downey rummages through that fucking toy bag until he comes back with a plug just a little bigger than the one Nick's worn all weekend.

"This is to make sure the water doesn't come out until you're ready," Downey says while he lubes it up.

"Which is when, exactly?"

"I'm hoping you can make it at least half an hour," Downey admits. "But since it's your first time, I don't know. We'll see. I have to push the plug in really fast so the water doesn't leak out, okay?"

Nick nods and then Jesus _Christ_ he jams the plug into him so hard and fast that Nick almost loses his balance.

"Fuck," he gasps, but then Downey's turning him carefully over onto his back and running his fingers over Nick's distended belly. He looks pregnant almost and Downey kisses the top of his pseudo-baby bump before moving down to suck his cock.

All the pressure from the water made him hard somehow and he doesn't hold back the whimper that escapes him when he's not only filled by warm, wet heat, but surrounded by it, too.

"Fuck, Downey—I gotta go. Please, it's too much, it's—"

"You can do it," Downey promises, and licks him from base to tip. "You can do this for me, Nick. 'Cause remember? I only ask you to do this stuff because I really, really want you. And you like to be wanted, right? Turns you on?"

"Y—yeah. Fuck, yeah."

"Then what I want most in the world right now is for you to come down my throat while you're all filled up with my water and my plug, okay?"

Nick groans but nods, letting Downey suck him in again. He's not sure how he can come like this—too much pressure and no way to actually let it out—but Downey is fucking determined and Nick has never been able to actually tell the guy no before.

When he comes, it's not a relief at all. It actually kind of hurts as his insides clench and churn with the force of the orgasm and make the cramping worse.

But then, thank fucking God, Downey lets him go to the bathroom. When he's finally finished and cleaned up, he drops back down on the bed on his stomach and sighs. "I hope you're happy."

Downey chuckles. "Yeah, a little. Lift your knee up."

"What now?" Nick groans.

"Another one."

" _What?_ "

"Well, now you're empty so you can hold more."

"Downey, no. Come on. Do something else."

"Trust me, Nick. Please," Downey begs, and fuck it, Nick rolls slightly onto his side and hitches one knee up, letting Downey put that evil nozzle back into him to fill his insides back up.

He has to hold this one longer and he actively starts dreading it when Downey starts digging through that bag of his again.

"What the fuck is that?" he asks, staring at what looks like [an over-sized balloon with an air pump bulb attached to it](http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/butt-plugs/sp-pump-it-up-butt-plug-13247.aspx) like they use to inflate blood pressure cuffs.

"Inflatable plug," Downey says hesitantly. "I put more water into you this time and I don't want to risk the plug slipping out. This goes in and it isn't coming out until the valve gets released."

"Downey, for fuck's sake—"

"Please."

And God damn it, that one word and he's spreading his legs as much as he dares while Downey lubes the fucking thing.

It goes in easily, just like Nick knew it would—fuck, things aren't supposed to go into him _easily_ and how exactly has Downey trained him to just lay here and be still while Downey shoves things into him again?—and then Downey twists it, almost cruelly.

"Fuck," he gasps, and then Downey's squeezing the inflation bulb and _oh my God_ , what the fuck is it _doing_ inside him?

"It's okay," Downey says soothingly. "I'm just blowing it up."

"Downey," Nick gasps, and then Downey's fingers are spider-walking up his back before stopping to rub at his shoulders.

"It's okay, Nick," he repeats. "I know what I'm doing. You'll like this. You always like what I do to you. You always say you won't and then I do it and by the end, you're begging me for more. Remember? First time I fucked you, you absolutely refused at first and now..." He sets down the bulb and runs the fingers of his free hand around Nick's hole, feeling where it's stretched around the plug. "Now look at you. You'll take anything for me, won't you? You love it."

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop...disorienting me."

Downey sighs. "If I thought for one second you actually meant that? I would. I would never do it if you really didn't want me to. But you want me to, Nick. That's the whole fucking problem. You like to argue and fight and pretend like I'm forcing things on you, and maybe I am, but you always love them in the end, right?"

"That," Nick tells him, "is a bad fucking pun."

Downey chuckles. "Yeah. Maybe."

He helps Nick onto his side and then lies down beside him, Nick's swollen stomach between them. He works hard on his figure, damn it, and he's not ashamed to admit it's a little damaging to his ego to have Downey's fingers ghosting over what looks like the beer gut of a former athlete gone to seed, which Nick is determined to never have happen to him. Only, apparently, it has.

"How long do I have to stay like this?" Nick asks.

"Don't know. As long as I think you need to."

"Downey, come on. At least give me a fixed end point to focus on."

"All right. That's fair. An hour."

"You have _got_ to be fucking kidding me."

"You asked for a number. I gave you one."

"Yeah, but...come on."

"You can do it. Well," Downey laughs softly, "you have to. Not like you have much choice about it, since that plug pretty much takes care of the can."

"You said I always had a choice with you."

"You do. You can choose to take it out any time you want. You don't need me to do it for you. But you're still laying here with me."

Nick flushes. "Shut up."

"I can do that," Downey agrees, and kisses him.

Nick lets out a grunt of pain as the movement starts the cramps back up, but Downey's fingers go right back to massaging his stomach automatically, not even bothering to break the kiss.

"I hate you," Nick mumbles against his mouth, even though the cramps have stopped and he actually likes the really full feeling.

"No, you don't. Stop saying that."

"You don't make anyone else do this."

Downey grabs him by the chin and forces Nick to meet his eyes. It hurts just a little and Nick absolutely does not get turned on over it. Not even a little.

"Nick, listen to me. Okay? For the last time, there is no one else. Not for me. Okay?"

"I—"

"No. I know you fuck other people and I don't care but do not keep acting like I do, too, because it makes you feel better. I don't. Understand?"

"I—"

"No. _Understand?_ "

"Yes."

Downey releases his chin and sighs. "Even if there were someone else, I wouldn't do this with them. Don't think there's anyone else I'd trust enough to do this with."

"Wouldn't let anyone else do this to me, either," Nick mumbles. "Not sure why I'm letting you do it, come to that."

Downey smiles. "I doubt you know anyone who has enough toys to do this."

"Yeah, that's it," Nick says, even though it's not.

Downey palms his stomach with both hands, almost like it were a basketball, and sighs. "Call me crazy, but I think you're kind of sexy like this. Although that's probably just 'cause I'm the one doing it to you."

"You're crazy. I look fat and pregnant or something."

"Hey, Demi Moore posed naked while she was pregnant on the cover of a magazine and it was hot. And I say that as a gay man, so...that's pretty damn hot."

"Whatever. Now she's with Ashton and he's young enough to be the kid she was pregnant with when they took the picture, so. You know. That's pretty damn fucked up."

Downey snickers. "Yeah. You still look sexy."

"Let's try it on you, then. See how sexy your scrawny self looks," Nick says sarcastically.

Downey just shrugs. "Another weekend, maybe."

"How much longer?"

"Forty-five minutes."

Nick swears under his breath. "You've had your fun, Downey. You've had your weird, fucked-up fetish fun, now just...stop."

"You want it to stop, you get up right now and go take the plug out. I'm not stopping you. I'm not holding you down. You want it to stop, then you make it stop."

Nick groans. "Why can't you be normal for once?"

"Why can't you just admit that you like this? Even if it's just because you know it's making me happy?"

It's not a rhetorical question, but Nick ignores it as though it were.

"It's okay to want to make the person you're with happy, Nick."

"I'm not with you."

He refuses to look Downey in the eye because if he does, he'll take it back. He'll take it back and apologize and God only knows what else, so he stares down at the comforter between them and changes the subject.

"What—what else do you have in the bag?"

"Some stuff," Downey answers, shrugging. "More plugs, a couple of dildos, some probes...I've got this vibrating thing I think you'll really dig and—"

"Exactly how many asses do you think I have?"

"Just the one, but it's a good one."

"You're fucking obsessed with it."

"Obsessed with fucking it, yes," Downey teases. "What can I say, Nick? I'm an ass man."

"Yeah, I got that from the gay thing. And from the fact that you never leave it alone."

Downey laughs. "I just...I have this thing."

"I know. That thing and my ass have had long conversations together."

"Not that. Just...I don't know, this kink I guess, for playing with guys like you."

"Guys like me? Straight guys?"

"Jocks. Big athletic types. But even then, it's like...here's them." He holds his hand out in front of his face. "And then here's you." He moves it up higher. "There's just something about the way you take it all. I don't know. I never hear you complaining about my obsession, though."

"I complain," Nick insists. "I'm complaining right now."

"Yeah, but you never mean it. I mean complain and actually _mean_ it."

Nick doesn't argue. "What are you going to do to me after this?"

"Don't know. Why? You got something in mind?"

Nick shakes his head. "I'm tired."

"Sorry. Not done with you yet, though. You can sleep later."

"I knew you'd say that."

"I like playing with you." Downey shrugs. "And either there's a roll of quarters in this bed or you like it, too."

"Shut up and blow me."

"Nope. Not again."

"You're going to let me fuck you?" He doesn't dare let himself sound hopeful.

"Not tonight. You're going to come from the toys. Just from them. Maybe from now on you won't fight me so hard on using them."

"I don't fight, I just—"

"Stop lying or I'll gag you."

"You would not."

"Would so. I've got this cute little penis-shaped dildo that's only a couple inches long and a harness to hook it into and then around your head."

"Bad enough I have to suck your cock. I'm not sucking a fake one."

"You will if I ask you to," Downey says off-handedly. "And you love sucking my cock."

Yeah, he can't argue with that. He's tried and failed.

"Downey."

"Shhh. You've got another half hour before you can take the plug out and I don't want to spend it listening to you whining."

Nick huffs. "Fine. Don't want to talk to the sex toy bully anyway."

Downey shrugs. "Have it your way, Nicky."

"Ugh, don't call me Nicky."

"Thought you didn't want to talk to me?"

"Asshole."

"You want another fifteen minutes?"

"Sorry."

He's not, but he knows better than to talk back. Nick, unlike most people, knows how to not let his mouth get him in trouble.

Downey ignores that and scoots down on the bed until he's at eye level with Nick's stomach. He presses his lips to the swell of it, a soft, gentle kiss. Nick blushes and hides his face behind a pillow so Downey won't see.

"It hurt?" Downey asks.

"Not right now."

"Good. See? Told you that you could handle this. You can handle anything I ask you to, right?"

"Maybe."

"No, you can, Nick. That's how I know I can do this with you. 'Cause you can handle it. Give yourself some credit."

"Yeah, I'll give myself lots of credit for being able to withstand your kinky, fucked-up, gay fantasies."

"Mhm. You should. Next time, you can tell me some of yours and we'll try them."

"No, 'cause see, my fantasies? Are all about shit like...'Hey, let's fuck in a public restroom.' They're really, really normal. And yours are all, 'Hey, what the fuck is that in your hand and oh my God, you want to put it _where_?'"

"I'm sure you've got some kinkier ones."

"Not that I'd actually say out loud."

"Well...next time, we'll work on getting you to say them out loud, then." Downey sighs and presses another kiss to his belly. "I know this sounds crazy, but your stomach feels like a giant hot water bottle and I kind of want to take a nap on it. It's all warm and soft."

"Don't you dare. I've got twenty minutes left and you won't wake back up by then. Also...yeah. It does sound crazy. You want a hot water bottle, you go get a hot water bottle. You don't fill up the guy you're fucking with hot water and then play with his shiny new beer gut."

"There were fringe benefits to this route," Downey murmurs, his lips still against Nick's stretched skin. "Lots of them."

"Like?"

"Seeing how far you'll go for me. Seeing how far I'll go for you. I look at you and all I want to do is keep you filled up all the time 'cause you just seem so...I don't know. Empty. Not like, in the ways that count, 'cause you're smart and you've got a great personality. But there's like this hole inside you and something in me just wants to plug it up so all the good in you doesn't leak out."

"Nice metaphor, all things considered," Nick mumbles.

"I'm serious, Nick. It's this instinct I have when I look at you that makes me just want to...crawl inside you and not come out because I think deep, deep down, you've been waiting for someone to do that for a good long while. And every time I throw a new curve ball at you and you do it just 'cause it makes me happy...it makes me believe that more and more."

"I'm not empty," Nick murmurs, even though something in his chest is twisting at the thought. Something about what Downey said is ringing true and if he lets himself think about it, he'll choke on it.

"Not now, anyway," Downey agrees, and it's one of the best things about him, really, that he'll let Nick get away with something like that, at least for a little while.

"Downey—"

"I know. I know, Nick. But you have to trust me. Even when I'm giving you something you think you don't want, you have to trust me to know it's what you need because God, I'm looking at you right now and I can see it in your eyes. I can see that big hole and I'm trying to fill it up and you won't let me. Please."

"I am fu—"

"No. No, Nick. The other way. Just...stop fighting me, okay?"

He's not sure what he wants to say to that, so it's lucky that Downey kisses him then and doesn't give him a chance.

How long they lay like that, pressed together with Downey kissing him like Nick is his air, Nick doesn't know. But when he finally looks up at the clock, he realizes it's ten minutes past when he was supposed to be able to take the plug out. He hesitates, then goes back to kissing Downey because fuck it, he likes it and he's not cramping right now, so he's just going to go with it.

It's another ten minutes before Downey notices and he sends Nick off to the bathroom with the promise that they can pick up as soon as he comes back. Which he does, gratefully, and then it's even better because now they can press tightly together, skin on skin everywhere, and nothing will ever be better than this.

"Jesus, you're so fucking sexy," Downey sighs, and Nick can feel how hard he is because the slick head of his cock is dragging along the crease of Nick's thigh.

"Yeah," Nick answers. "I know."

"Still not done with you, you know."

"Yeah? Fuck me, then."

Downey shakes his head. "Not yet."

"Later?"

"Maybe. I want to play with you for awhile."

Nick sighs. "'Kay."

"Yeah? You're not going to fight me?"

Nick shrugs. He doesn't feel like fighting anymore. Something in him feels...pliant for some reason.

"On your belly," Downey murmurs, and Nick obeys, legs splayed obscenely wide while Downey digs through the bag for lube and comes up with it and [a long, thin green probe with ripples on it](http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/butt-plugs/sp-sensafirm-ripple-probe-13513.aspx). It reminds Nick of the beads, how they got bigger and bigger on the way in, but he doesn't protest, not even to say that it looks like a caterpillar and he's not sure how he feels about putting small bugs up his ass—he'll leave the animal insertion to Richard Gere, thank you very much.

He wishes he could figure out why he's being so cooperative, but there's no reason for it at all. He's just letting Downey do this stuff to him and he's not even bothering to fight it.

"You know what else is really good about those things?" Downey asks, nodding towards the bathroom, where his giant squeeze bulb thing is still sitting in the sink.

"What?"

Downey grins wickedly. "Now I can do this."

Nick has had a lot of things done to him since he started having sex, most of them since he started having sex with Downey. He's also done a lot of things to a lot of other people. He's eaten box and sucked cock and he even let that guy tea bag him once just to see what it was like. Hell, once, he sucked on some chick's toes while she worked her clit and came so hard she passed out. And until this moment, he was pretty sure he'd done or had done to him everything that could possibly happen during sex involving someone's mouth.

And then Downey put his tongue _there_ and Nick realized there was so, so much about sex he didn't know.

"Jesus," he groans, and Downey nips feather-light at the swollen, stretched rim of his hole, just enough to make his toes curl and his fingers scrabble for purchase against the sheets.

He's already so fucking sensitive there from everything else that's happened this weekend and everything feels like it's amped up a notch, like everything is electrified, and he whimpers helplessly and spreads his legs as far as they'll go. It's the best invitation he can offer because he can't form words anymore, and he needs Downey to keep doing this and please, never ever stop.

Downey's fingers grip at his ass, keeping him spread open and vulnerable to the onslaught of his tongue. A few months ago, or hell, even a few days ago, Nick might've been too embarrassed to breathe just thinking about it but now all he wants is to lift his hips back against that tongue, especially once it—God, once it actually pushes _inside_ him.

He moans brokenly when he feels a line of spit go rolling down to his balls, tickling and leaving him feeling so pathetic he could die. He shouldn't be letting Downey do this to him, but fuck it, he doesn't _care_ because this is absolutely amazing.

"You okay, Nicky?" Downey asks, and Nick doesn't even have the strength to ask him to drop the '-y.' Instead he just nods and whimpers while trying not to hate himself too much for it.

"Yeah," Downey agrees. "You love it. I know. I've been wanting to do that to you since I met you. You know that? Make you all nice and clean and then fuck you with my tongue. And you're so loose, Nick. So relaxed for me. I could put anything into you right now and you'd just take it, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah. Yes." It's the most he can manage, but Downey seems to take that as enough because then he's flicking open the bottle of lube.

Nick arches his back, ready for the feel of Downey's fingers pushing into him, but instead they push at his lips and he opens up to them automatically. They're slick and he's about to complain and ask Downey why he'd put lube on his fingers and make Nick suck them when he realizes they actually taste...well, not great, because it's still lube, but sort of sweet. Like cherries.

"Taste good?" Downey asks, and Nick nods, still sucking Downey's fingers. It's slutty and he doesn't fucking care.

"Yeah," Downey agrees. "Thought you might like that."

"Why?" Nick asks when Downey finally pulls his fingers out. "What are you—"

"Shh," Downey says. "You need me to get you something to suck on? Can't have my fingers, Nick. I need 'em."

Nick wants to tell Downey to go fuck himself, that he doesn't need his fingers, he's fine, but then Downey slicks up [a medium-sized dildo](http://www.adameve.com/adult-sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/anal-dildos/sp-rascal-anal-dildo-kit-12863.aspx) with the cherry-flavored lube and pushes it at his lips.

"Here," he says. "Go on, Nicky. I know you need something to suck on. Told me so yourself, remember? First night, you told me you loved having things to suck on. Take it. Open up. That's it—"

And fuck it, Nick's eyes flutter shut and his mouth falls open and in that fake cock goes. He groans around it and Downey releases it, letting him maneuver it instead. He feels pathetic, lips stretched around a dick that isn't even real while he waits for Downey to fill him up with that green probe, but Downey's hand is warm and soothing on the small of his back and he doesn't resist.

Three of Downey's fingers work inside him, pushing and pulling until Nick can't even imagine what he must look like. His pinkie slips in beside the others and Downey chuckles softly before covering Nick's body with his own, fingers still thrusting into him.

"You should see yourself," Downey murmurs. "So empty that you're hungry for it. I've got four fingers in you right now, Nick, and you know what? I think if I wanted to, I could make you take my fist."

Nick chokes around the fake cock in his mouth.

"Shh. Shh, Nick. It's okay. I'm not going to make you. Not tonight, anyway. Don't want you trying to drive home tomorrow like that. Wouldn't want you to get hurt. But I could, Nick. I could give you my whole fist right now, and you'd just lay there and take it, wouldn't you? Nod for me, Nicky."

He tries not to, but his head gives the tiniest jerk of a nod without his permission and it seems to be all Downey needs.

"So fucking sexy like this, too," Downey adds. "Nothing hotter than seeing you spread out under me like the best damn buffet I ever laid my eyes on. Want to taste every inch of you."

Nick wants to point out that given where his tongue just was, he pretty much _has_ tasted every inch of Nick because really, what else is left? But he doesn't. He just lies there and sucks on the dildo and pretty much proves Downey one hundred percent right.

"Spread your legs a little more for me, Nick," Downey whispers. "You can do it."

He obeys and whimpers around the dildo in his mouth when he feels Downey's thumb drag across the stretched-out skin where Downey's fingers disappear into him. A small, sick part of him wants that thumb to push into him. He wants to see if it even can, and if it does, if he can take it. He feels like he's floating right now and he wonders if that thumb would push him out of this and back into reality.

But it doesn't. The fingers slip out and then Downey lifts off of him enough to push the probe into him. It goes in slowly, one ridge at a time, each one opening him up more and more. He groans as the final one pops in, but then Downey's back flush against him, his fingers still gripping the bottom of the probe. It occurs to Nick that Downey's using the probe like a strap-on, fucking him with it but working his hips as though it were himself. He groans around the cock in his mouth when Downey follows through with it, starts rocking against him and pumping that toy in and out of him.

"That feel good, Nicky?" Downey asks. "Yeah. Bet it does. All the fun of beads and a dildo put together. Bet it's better than cock. Especially since you have me to fuck you with it. You want it harder, Nick? Bet you do. You look so good like this. Feel so good. Can feel your heart pounding against my chest, Nick. You know that? I can feel it. And it's like fucking Morse Code, baby. It's telling me how much you need this right now. How much you want it. How good it feels to you to not be so empty anymore. Want to keep you filled up, Nick. I know you need it."

His free hand tickles up Nick's side and he whimpers around his makeshift gag, arching his back up against Downey. Nick rocks back against him, letting the toy open him up wider and wider before closing in tighter and tighter. The last one he barely even feels because he's spread so wide.

"I know," Downey says soothingly. "It's okay, Nick. Let it out. It's fine."

He slips down Nick's body and he groans at the loss of Downey's warm weight settled on top of him. But then his tongue is back, licking around the probe.

Nick's toes curl and he scrambles a few inches forward until he hits the headboard and backs up with a whimper. It was too much, too fast, and his entire body felt like he'd been hooked up to a Die Hard battery.

He settles back down in his original place and starts to take the dildo out of his mouth to apologize, but Downey just grins at him, pushes it back in far enough that it hits the back of his throat, and then licks around the probe again.

"Want you to come, Nicky," Downey says. "From this, okay? Let me see how much you like my tongue and my toys. Know you love it. Don't you? Yeah, I can tell. You're so desperate for it. Sound like a fucking porn star, the way you're moaning."

Nick tries to bite back the noises rising from his throat against his permission but he _can't_. He's trying and he wants to be quiet and he wants to not want this but what he wants doesn't seem to matter anymore.

"It's okay," Downey says soothingly. "It's good, Nick. Don't fight it. Don't worry. Just let it happen, okay?"

The fingers of the hand not fucking him with the probe drift down to cup his balls, rolling them gently in his palm. His mouth is back against the probe, licking and biting and sucking and something in Nick just snaps.

It's his third orgasm of the night and it's practically painful, like someone dragging their fingernails down his spine. He arches his back and writhes back against Downey, and he still never lets the dildo leave his mouth.

He collapses when it's over, face tilted to the side so he won't choke on the fake cock. His entire body is sore and he's exhausted, pushed way past his point of feasible endurance. Downey takes the dildo out of his mouth carefully before wiping the stray saliva off Nick's chin with his thumb.

"You did good, Nick," he says, and pats him on the back reassuringly. "Going to take the probe out now, okay? Just relax."

Nick doesn't even bother nodding. His jaw is too sore to speak and even a nod feels like too much effort, so he just lays there, wincing when the probe slips out of him. He's about to roll over when he feels something else pushing him back open and he doesn't fight it, both because he doesn't have the energy to and also because he doesn't care. He's too fucked-out for it to hurt when the plug settles into place.

"There you go," Downey says soothingly. "Know that's what you need. Need to keep you filled up, don't I? Got you a nice long plug in there, Nick. Damn thing is eight and a half inches long. That's bigger than I am, Nicky. And you just took it like it wasn't anything, didn't you? Does it feel good, Nicky? You like having it there to keep you from being empty?"

Nick makes a small choking noise of agreement. It's all he's got.

"Yeah. I know. Want you on your back, okay? Roll over for me."

It takes all his effort to turn over onto his back and face Downey, and it leaves him without the ability to look away from Downey's eyes.

"You are unspeakably gorgeous," Downey tells him. "And never more so than right now, just like this. You know that? All fucked out and tired and sweaty, and you're still beautiful."

Nick just whimpers.

"Yeah. It's okay. I know you're tired, baby. Gonna let you sleep soon. Just got one last thing to do, okay?"

If he could nod, Nick would, but he can't. He tries, and he can't.

Downey closes his fist around his cock, movements quick and deliberate. He's just trying to get off with absolutely no finesse and Nick can appreciate that because he's too tired to wait much longer.

It only takes a few minutes before Downey's choking out his name and then he takes a hold of Nick's chin with his free hand and pries it open, then guides his cock to Nick's lips. He's too weak to suck it, though he would if he could, but it doesn't seem to matter. Downey comes almost instantly, filling Nick's mouth before finally pulling out and pushing his mouth shut again.

"Swallow it," he says, and Nick stares at him with wide eyes until he finally just does it.

"There you go," Downey says encouragingly. "That's good, Nick. Feel better now? Not so empty anymore. Filled you up with my water and my toys and now my come. No more being empty, okay? You never have to be empty, Nick. I won't let you be."

And some very, very sick part of Nick feels oddly warm inside at the thought that Downey won't ever let him feel empty. It's the part that makes him not protest when Downey comes back from the bathroom with a few towels and starts cleaning them both up. It's the part that lets Downey kiss him when he returns from depositing the towels in the bathroom and brushing his teeth. And it's the part that doesn't protest when Downey spoons up against him, hand over Nick's heart, legs tangled together, and Downey's groin pressing up against that huge plug—Nick realizes now that it's the dildo he was sucking on earlier and the suction-cup base is what's keeping it in place. He doesn't fight any of it and he actually feels warm and safe and good, and he's too worn-out to care why. Downey holding him and owning him and filling him up is good, so fuck it. He needs some sleep.

***

When Nick wakes up the next morning, his jaw protests the loud yawn he tries to let out but ends up holding in instead. His ass is practically throbbing and he feels wet and disgusting there. He needs a shower and something for the ache in his jaw, but before he can even try to get up, Downey snuggles closer to him and murmurs a quiet, "Good morning."

"Downey." His voice is scratchy from disuse and his jaw hurts with even just that one word.

"You feeling okay?" Downey asks, one eyebrow raised in concern. "I wasn't too hard on you last night?"

Nick shrugs. "Maybe."

Downey nods and runs his fingers along Nick's bottom lip. "I'm sorry. I just...got carried away, I guess."

Nick takes a steadying breath and wills himself to just this once, admit the truth. "I...needed it."

Downey looks taken aback, but then nods knowingly. "I know you did. I hate that look you give me when you need it and can't just say it."

"T—thank you."

Downey smiles and Nick can't stop himself from shifting closer and hiding his face against Downey's chest. He's not a snuggles and cuddles sort of guy but something in him wants to keep touching Downey right now and he can't seem to override it.

"I don't want to leave you," Downey says. "I shouldn't have done that the night before we had to leave. You're going to need me and I won't be there."

"Need you?"

Downey nods. "Subdrop sucks. The playing is fun but the after party can be a bitch."

Nick shrugs. "Don't know what that is. Don't care."

Downey threads his fingers through Nick's hair and sighs. "I scare myself when I'm with you sometimes," he whispers, so soft Nick almost doesn't hear it, and then he's kissing Nick slow and careful and whatever snapped in Nick last night must still be broken because instead of fighting it, he just lets it happen.

Mostly he's just thinking that he scares himself when he's with Downey, too.

"Want to skip school tomorrow?" Downey asks, and Nick's only half-sure he's kidding. "Stay another night?"

"Can't. Too sore."

Downey presses a soft kiss to his jaw line. "Turn over. I'll take the plug out."

"N—no."

One eyebrow, raised as high as it can go. "No?"

Nick flushes. "Don't—don't want to be empty. Been too full to just...stop."

Downey nods. "Want me inside you? Or will it hurt too much?"

It probably will hurt. Nick's not sure how he hasn't bled yet, but he's pretty sure that one more good fucking and it's going to be too much. But he nods and says, "Please," anyway.

"Okay. It's okay, Nick. I know you're hurting. I'll be careful, okay? Take it real slow. You want to be on your side? Want me to hold you? I can do that. We've got a couple of hours before check out. Plenty of time. You want it on your back so you can see me? Tell me what you want, baby."

Nick hates being called 'baby' and means to tell Downey so. What comes out is, "On my side."

"Okay," Downey answers, and then he's being guided onto his side and Downey is carefully spooning behind him. "I have to take the plug out, all right? Take a deep breath for me."

Downey kisses his shoulder as he carefully eases the toy out and fuck, it hurts. The lube has dried and it's so fucking _long_ that he feels every last inch of it as it slides out of him. It almost burns, in fact, until Downey's fingers take its place, slick with cold, nearly-soothing lube.

"You being quiet is almost scary," Downey says lightly. "I'm used to you fighting me and yelling at me."

"I need," Nick starts, then stops to rub at his jaw. "I need you inside me," he finally manages. "I...you're right there and it's not enough, Downey. It's not."

Downey nods. "That's the subdrop talking."

"I don't care what it is. Please. I feel so—"

Alone. Empty. Two good words to fill in that blank.

"I know. I'll take care of you, Nick. I will. Just need to get you nice and wet for me, okay? I'll make it not hurt anymore."

And God so help him, Downey does. He eases himself into Nick and curls around him, arms and legs tangled until Nick doesn't know whose limbs are whose anymore, and quite frankly, doesn't care. He can feel it every time Downey breathes, his chest pushing against Nick's back and the huff of exhalation dancing across his shoulders. They're not even moving, just laying there literally tangled up inside each other, and it's the most at peace Nick has felt the entire weekend. Maybe in his entire life.

"That better, Nick?" Downey nuzzles against the back of his neck and it makes Nick squirm.

"Yeah. Jesus, yes."

"Me, too," Downey admits. "Need to be in you, Nick. With you. Miss you too god damn much when you're not there."

"Please, don't—"

Downey cuts him off by rolling his hips, pushing his cock deep into Nick until he swears he can feel Downey in his chest.

"You don't know what you do to me, Nicky."

"Yeah. Just..." He tilts his head back and Downey captures his lips in a kiss, every bit as slow and gentle as the roll of his hips. It's like little waves crashing against the shore and Nick needs this to never, ever end.

Downey's never treated him this way, like he was something to be cared for and cherished and made love to. He's never possessed Nick this way and Nick's never needed him this desperately either, and he blames last night. It fucked things up and they're still not unfucked and the more he thinks about leaving Downey in a few short hours, the more he wants to cry.

He's not going to, because he's a man, damn it, and men don't weep at the thought of their fuck buddies going home. But God, he doesn't want Downey to leave.

"You're so perfect," Downey sighs when he releases Nick from the kiss. "No, not perfect. Amazing. Beautiful. You are, Nick. You're beautiful and I just...God, I'm the luckiest bastard on earth."

"Me," Nick gasps, and refuses to figure out what that word was in response to.

Downey's hand closes over Nick's cock and he sucks Nick's earlobe between his teeth before murmuring, "You need to come, Nick. We have to leave in an hour and a half and we both have to take a shower and get packed."

"Please," he chokes out. "Not yet."

"I know, Nicky. I know. I don't want to, either. But we have to, okay? Please, Nick. Don't make this harder than it has to be. Just come for me, baby."

He's choking back what he refuses to believe are sobs when he does, face buried in the crook of Downey's arm and breath coming in deliberate, slow inhalations to keep from losing his control. Downey follows not long after that and Nick can almost swear he feels wetness against the back of his neck, but he writes it off as sweat.

Slowly, carefully, Downey slips out of him and he groans, irrationally wanting to punch someone and kick something and generally make an ass out of himself by having a tantrum. He's been too full this weekend to be suddenly so empty and with no promise of having that feeling again for at least another month.

"Shower time," Downey says glumly. "You want to go first?"

Nick shakes his head. "Together."

If it's a weird request, Downey doesn't show it. He just follows Nick to the bathroom and under the spray before pulling Nick towards him—his warm, wet chest pressed flush against Nick's back. They stand there like that, Downey hugging him tightly, for longer than Nick would care to admit. And when Downey kisses him as the water rains down on them, Nick doesn't try to fight it. He's pretty sure he needs it, too.

***

After the shower—Nick blushed when Downey started washing his hair for him, but then realized it actually felt kind of nice—they pack in silence and Nick tries not to meet Downey's eyes. He doesn't know what to say to him after a weekend like they've just had, and he's not sure his voice would hold out if he tried.

When he's finished, he takes a seat on the edge of the bed and watches Downey fold the last of his clothes and stuff them into his bag, and then begin collecting his toys.

When he's got most of them packed away, he joins Nick on the bed and holds out the plug they started this weekend with.

"What?"

"I want you to take this," Downey says. "Here. Just take it."

"Take it?"

"Yeah. I—I told you I wouldn't leave you empty, Nick. So if I can't be there to fill you up, then my toy can. Go on. Take it."

Nick takes the toy from him and turns it over in his palm before murmuring, "It's not the same as the real thing."

"I know. But you're going to wear that whenever you need to and as soon as you can, you're going to turn on your webcam, okay? And we're going to talk, Nick. You're going to actually talk to me for real and tell me what's bothering you. And then I'm going to tell you how very not empty you are, Nick. 'Cause you're not going to be anymore. Not now that you've got me. Okay? So you take this and you put it in as often as you need to and then you remind yourself that it's me filling you up, all right?"

Nick nods. "Yeah. Downey—"

"It's going to be okay. We can do this. It's only a month until we can see each other again."

The kiss that Downey gives him leaves him sad and it takes everything he's got to put on a smile and walk downstairs with Downey to check out. All his effort goes into keeping his shit together while he watches Downey put his bag into his car. And he really has little willpower left when Downey turns to him to say goodbye.

"Nick...don't look at me like that, baby."

"I don't like being called that," Nick complains, because at least it gives him something to focus on other than the fact that he feels like something is being torn out of him right now.

"Okay," Downey agrees. "I promise not to call you that anymore. It doesn't change the fact that you're making it very hard for me to leave right now."

"I'm sorry."

Downey shakes his head. "Don't be."

He pulls Nick into a hug and holds him there, enveloped in warmth and comfort until he finally releases Nick just enough to guide him into a kiss. Nick's still not comfortable with PDA and he doesn't like kissing Downey standing up because he has to lean up on his tiptoes to reach, but then Downey's hands slide down his back to cup his ass and Nick forgets they're even in public at all.

"I'll see you in a month," Downey murmurs. "You call me, okay? And turn your fucking webcam on every now and then. It's not that hard to use."

"'Kay." He sounds like a contrite four year old and he hates it.

"I lo—" Downey starts, then stutters until it comes out more like, "I'll uh, talk to you tonight online."

Nick nods. "Bye, Downey."

Downey kisses him again, soft and quick, before darting into his car like he's just trying to get the whole damn thing over with as quickly as possible. Nick gets that feeling because right now he feels like he's tearing off the world's biggest Band-Aid and sometimes you just have to rip at the fucking thing.

He watches as Downey starts the car and tries not to stare at him too hard as he puts it into reverse and backs out of his spot. It hurts too much to watch him go, but he can't look away. Besides, Downey's watching him in the rearview mirror, anyway.

Halfway home, Nick will stop at a gas station and use their restroom to bend himself over the sink and push Downey's plug back to where it belongs. He'll stand there feeling helpless for ten minutes until someone bangs at the door and he has to tuck the lube back into his pocket and try to walk normally as he heads back to his car. He'll spend the entire rest of the drive home squirming and by the time he gets there, he'll be ready to just throw himself into bed with his diary and not come out until he's written at least three poems.

Then he'll open up his laptop and Google that word Downey kept using, the one he didn't care what it meant. He'll find out that subdrop is a kind of depression that happens to someone who was dominated and owned after they have to leave the person who did the dominating. He'll learn that it's worse in relationships where the two people involved care a lot about each other—the website even used the word "love"—and the submissive felt particularly owned by their partner.

He will feel sick at his stomach and he'll spend more time than he really should on that website learning about what happened over the course of that weekend, and he'll wonder if Downey knew what he was doing when he started it, if he knew Nick would feel this way afterwards.

Then Downey will video call him on the computer and he'll realize that he doesn't fucking care because the second Downey's smile pops up on that screen, something in him shifts and his whole body begins to feel light.

Later, he'll spend hours writing in his diary about it, but for now, he's still just standing in a hotel parking lot, alone and empty. And for the first time in his life, he doesn't want to be.


End file.
